Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Randomize
