Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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