ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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