dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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