I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize