I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Randomize
