Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
