READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
