As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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