Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
