There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
