Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize