I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
