no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
