Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
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