oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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