i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
