I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
