Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
