but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I currently don't understand fingers.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
