ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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