After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize