I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
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