my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
jump out the window naked night went bad
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
