you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize