It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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