Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
