It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
