i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
