Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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