He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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