No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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