it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize