You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
We are two peas in an std pod
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
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