Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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