I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
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