watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
