I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
