if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
