So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
