wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
