it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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