shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
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