i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
