so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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