:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
