4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
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