omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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