we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Randomize
