I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
