And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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