so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize