from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I will be naked everywhere
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Randomize
