I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize