Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
